以下是小编为大家整理的GRE写作议论文提炼观点（共含4篇），欢迎阅读与收藏。同时，但愿您也能像本文投稿人“aaa999”一样，积极向本站投稿分享好文章。
GRE写作议论文提炼观点
GRE写作提炼观点应避免两个问题
GRE写作在论点上出问题的情况其实非常常见，其中最主要的情况有两种，一种是论点过于宽泛，另外一种则是论点过于狭窄。对于缺乏议论文写作经验的考生来说，无论出现那种错误都需要引起警惕，否则作文成绩很难有所提升。
1. 观点要有具体内容不能空泛
在各类教导写作的材料中，大家应该时常会发现关于强调GRE写作论点一定要写得具体，越细越好的指导建议。而考生经常出现的问题就是会出现一些很宽泛的论点句，以至于在较短的篇幅里并不能充分展开，甚至有时候会造成观点重叠。
比如去年2月份的GRE考试中有一篇作文，题目要求探讨关于移动电话对于现代人生活的影响。假如考生提炼出的观点是“Mobile phones have changed our life greatly. ”这句只是说手机很大程度上改变了人们的生活，但是并未点明从哪些方面上带来了改变，因此把这个观点具化一下：“Mobile phones can serve as a connection to the Internet, which can be extremely convenient for obtaining information wherever you may be.”这样一来大家既有具体内容可写，也可以避免观点过于宽泛大而无当的情况。
而同样是在去年2月份，还有一篇作文的题目则讨论了关于广告泛滥对于社会舆论造成的干扰。如果考生只是简单写“Advertising has bad effects on all of society. ”广告有不良影响显然是不够的。我们需要写出具体的方面，比如“Advertisements which exaggerate the function of the products may mislead the consumers.”这样具体的观点才是GRE考官真正希望看到的内容，言之有物也需要从实际出发。
2. 观点要有展开空间不能自缚手脚
与论点过于宽泛相对的，则是一些考生把论点定得太过狭窄，自己把自己逼近了死胡同以至于没有展开的空间甚至没有进一步支持的必要。这类句子与其说是观点，倒不如说是事实的陈述或者只是举了个例子而已。
去年4月GRE作文中曾出现过这样一道题目，讲的是某个地方当地人开展旅游业的看法。有的考生直接把观点写成“There are more local residents engaged in tourism industry. ”这其实并非观点，只是陈述了一个事实就是在当地越来越多人开始从事旅游业，可改为：“Tourism brings huge economic benefits to local residents.”就比较容易展开了。
而今年1月份的GRE作文中也有一道讨论不可再生燃料如何持续利用的题目，如果考生写出“The consumption of fossil fuels increase in recent years. ”这样一句看似结论的话既缺乏数据支持也毫无说服力可言，等于是自己把话说死了，后续要怎么展开?正确写法是给出论述重点，假设原因，比如“The consumption of fossil fuels increasing in recent years results from two factors.”之后就会好写很多。
综上所述，GRE写作中因为观点论点错误所导致的扣分其实是很严重的问题，不仅会对大家的得分造成影响，本身也不利于考生写作思路的拓展和文章的进一步展开。小编希望大家在重视训练写作技巧的同时，也能够对如何树立和提炼文章观点做一些练习，避免在考试中出现观点方面的问题和错误。
GRE写作高分范文：生动剖析写作
GRE写作题目：
Too much time, money, and energy are spent developing new and more elaborate technology. Society should instead focus on maximizing the use of existing technology for the immediate benefit of its citizens.
GRE写作范文：
I must say that I reject this statement. While it is true that we need to support society as much as possible with current technology, that does not in any way mean that we should stop progressing simply because our current technology cannot handle all the problems we have brought to it. Does that mean that we should simply accept the status quo and make do? No, I don’t think so. To do so would be tantamount to adopting a fatalistic approach; I think most people would reject that.
Technology has helped, and it has hurt. Without it, we would never have our standard of living, nor quality of nutrition, expectation of a long and productive life span, and the unshakable belief that our lives can be made even better. But it has also brought us universal pollution, weapons so powerful as to be capable of rendering us extinct, and the consequent fear for our survival as species and as a planet. Technology is indeed a double-edged sword. And yet, I still have to argue in its favor, because without it, we have no hope.
Some might argue that we would be better off without technology. They might say that a return to a less technologically driven approach to life would have the benefits of reducing stress and allowing us to live simpler, happier lives, like those of our forebears. Such an idea is seductive, so much so that much of art and all of nostalgia are devoted to it. But upon closer inspection, one realizes that such a move would only return us to a life of different kinds of stress, one of false simplicity, one fraught with danger. It would be a life without antibiotics where a minor cut could prove deadly. It would be a life where childbirth is the main killer of women, and where an emergency is dealt with in terms of hours and days instead of minutes and hours; a life where there are no phones or cars or planes or central heating, no proven drug therapies to treat mental illness, no computers. Would this world really make people happy?
What we already have, we have. And since the only way to move is forward, instead of allowing ourselves to be paralyzed by fear and worry, we need to learn how to clean up the pollution we have caused, and how to deal with a world that feeds on weapons and mass destruction. Doing these things means having to move away from technology into a more difficult realm, that of diplomacy and compromise: to move from the bully stance of “I am bigger and better and I have more toys and so I win” to a place where everyone wins.
Technology is the thing that will allow people to do that. But, advanced as it is, it is still in its infancy. We have to allow it to grow up and mature in order to reap the real rewards that it can bring. And there are even greater rewards ahead of us than what the world has already experienced. When technology is pushed to the outer edge, that is where serendipitous discoveries can occur. This has been seen throughout technological advancement, but the easiest example is probably the space program which made us think, really hard, about how to do things in a different environment. It gave us telecommunications, new fabrics and international cooperation. Paramedical devices, so that people can be treated even as they are being transported to the hosptal, are a direct development of that technology. None of this would have happened in the time frame that it did if we had not pushed for technological advancement. If we had decided to “focus on maximizing the use of existing technology” instead of foolishly reaching for the stars, we would not have made those discoveries which now are the bedrock of the 21st century.
GRE写作分析：
字数：651
语言：平实的语句完全没有网络流行模板的痕迹，也是许多过了6级的考生通过练习可以达到的水平。
I must say that I reject this statement.
Does that mean that we should simply accept the status quo and make do? No, I don’t think so.
Technology has helped, and it has hurt.
Technology is indeed a double-edged sword. And yet, I still have to argue in its favor, because without it, we have no hope.
GRE写作高分范文：避免偏激
题目：
Most people often look for similarities, even between very different things, and even when it it is unhelpful or harmful to do so. Instead, a thing should be considered on its own terms: we should avoid the tendency to compare it to something else.
人们总是在寻找相同点，即使是在非常不同的事物间也不例外，甚至有时候这样做是无用乃至有害的。实际上，我们应该具体问题具体分析;我们应该尽量避免比较的倾向。
正文：
In the age of accelerating changes, the eagerness to understand things in an effective and equally efficient way is more than ever. Although all kinds of complex techniques, skills and equipments helpful for understanding and studying the objects are easily accessible to people, the basic strategies stay the same as before: one is starting from similarities and the other from distinction. From my personal point of view, only by using the two in proper proportion and order can one achieve his/her goal to understand a thing.
Looking for similarities is a proper starting point. When we first meet something new,we need to clarify its basic attributes, finding similarites with other familiar things and classify it according to those attributes. Classification according to similaties is of great assistance to provide us with an outline, basic knowledge which we can base further investigation upon. Although things in contemporary age represent themselves in various forms and styles, similarities exist in any pair as long as certain perspective can be found. For instance, Bookcase and window are so different that at first glance, one may not be able to find the similarities, or even such an effort seems to be meaningless. Yet, they are both part of a house, something that must be taken into consideration when decorating or refurnishing the house. Such a comparison would be helpful for us to realize that “buy” and “sell” are two basic operation we can have upon window even though we have no idea what window is made of, how it is produced or what its function is.What’s more, looking for
similarities not only refer to the object itself, but the relationship with others. Similar relationships helps people understand things in groups or pairs using the strategy: analogy. Analogy is especially useful when the charactertistics of a relationship rather than the objects themselves are the focus of understanding and when similar relationships are known and objects unknown. For example, if told that the relationship between window and ASVE is similar to that between book and read, one can safely guess that ASVE is the operation people can take on window although ASVE stays an unknown action.
Definitely, mere similarity usually exclude the distinctive characteristics of a thing. We need to investigate its own terms for deeper understanding. Within the rough outline sketched by similarity, a more detailed and well-articulated picture can be drawn by grasping own terms of a thing. Still take window as an example. From careful observation, we know that it is transparent, it consists of different chemical materials, it performs the function as to protect privacy, to preserve desirable temperature indoor, and sometimes to prevent rains and snows from going inside. Deeper and further understanding of window can only be gained when we take its own terms besides those it shares with bookcase into consideration.
GRE写作
托福写作如何提炼文章观点用好例子
托福作文观点要持一立场
针对某一个论题，每一种观点都有它的理由。同样，在托福作文中也不存在着唯一的观点和内容。这时，你可以从两个完全相反的观点中选择一个立场。关键在于你如何说服读者：尽管存在着相反的立场，你的观点从总体上来说仍然是最具说服力的。
一般说来，应该选择那个政治上正确的或者大多数考生会选择的观点。当然，如果你不擅长写这种文章，你可以适当地调整一下内容以适应你较习惯的舒服的表达方式。但总的说来，文章要均衡，不要包含高度争议性的论述。不要把这里当成思想家的论坛。写一篇高度争议性的文章只会让读者对你产生偏见，同时也会使电脑评分器费解，因为这种文章和其数据库里所储存的文章差别太大。所以，针对问题时尽量使用较冷静平和的语气。尽管如此，你也不能不选择一个立场。你必须选择一个将要“出现”在开头段落和结论段落里的观点。当然，考试时，题目会让你选择一种观点，但你必须明确地表述出来。
托福作文内容要有深度
托福 写作每篇文章只有20-30分钟，这么短的时间内你不可能覆盖每一个推理，反驳和例子。当你开始考试时，抽出几分钟的时间确定要写的论点和例子。你不必包含每个论题和概念。大部分学生都没有足够的时间覆盖他想覆盖的内容。所以，只要选择其中最具说服力的点和例子。其实，判分者也不期望你对每个论题都作深入的探讨。
这里最重要的是你的作文不要离题，抓住要点。不要扯远了也不要过分集中在某个例子上。
托福作文例子注意要点分析
托福写作题目会告诉你可以利用自己的经历来展开你的论点，得出结论。这种方法是可以的，但不要过分。你的推理依据应该更偏向于所学到的知识而非个人经历。你所举的例子或者知识可能很吸引人，但不要试图深入。因为托福作文测试的是你基本写作能力，而非你的专业知识。留学生：尽量多读一些美国杂志，以适应美国人写作的习惯和跟上时代的潮流。
托福作文整体风格应保持简洁
试着将自己放在评分者的位置上，他们整天在为作文判分。你希望看到一篇包含5段每段4句的简洁的有效的文章还是4段每段10句的散漫的文章呢?简而言之：确保你的作文干脆，简洁能取悦评分者。在独立写作部分这尤其重要，因为在这里你表达的是你自己的观点。
以上就是托福写作考试的注意事项，考生们要记牢这些，尽量避免问题的发生，一些考生为了增加单词量在句子中添加一些无用词，是整段内容显得冗杂繁琐，这类情形要减少发生，只要在生活中多积累经典语句，在托福写作中自然不会发生凑词凑句的情况发生，平时多积累些名人名言，优美句子，用在都是简单句的作文中，会使得你的作文更有深度。
托福独立写作难点话题思路解读和高分范文赏析：influence of movies or television on people's behavior
托福写作难点话题一览
The influence of movies or television on people's behavior
How do movies or television influence people's behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
写作思路展开结构分析
电影、电视等大众传媒(mass media)往往可以对人们的行为产生影响，通过改变人们的价值观、世界观、审美观而改变人们行为，比如通过制造“社会热点”而使大众不停地讨论一件事情;或是通过满足人们的幻想，或使人们处于平衡状态，或使人们一定程度上失衡。
本话题高分范文赏析
The impact that movies or television has had on our daily life, and society in general, is undeniable. No doubt it will become even greater as the scope of which continues to grow, and as the relevant technologies become more and more sophisticated, and so fascinating that virtually nobody will be able to escape. Already, it can be seen how western movies are exercising influence on our youth generation: they grow long-hair regardless of their gender, commonly part of which is dyed in gold; they wear jeans in each and every season, usually the knees of which are deliberately tattered; boys are fond of earrings or other odd pendants; and girls are keen on Marlboros and weird bad words. The major means that movies and television influence the public is by creating topics of discussion in the society. Movies offer people (the consumers) issues to talk and think about. Titanic had brought a worldwide uproar by its extolling of fascinating immortal love; Prime Color and Wag the Dog met the national debate on right and duty of the president of the United States. Antiwar movies such as Tears of the Sun and All Quiet on the Western Front among numerous others have been raising the question that is any war really to uphold justice or is it really worthy that an individual makes sacrifices to his country and at the same time ignores his own family or his personal values? Television also shapes our understanding of what is important and what is not important (to know). The “important” issues are being discussed over and over or in the beginning of a program. The “not important” stories are the ones that are not being told at all. The “not very important” stories are probably very short and hidden in the last part. By prearranging public issue, movies and television make decisions for us. Even though there are critical thinking individuals in any society, they are definitely in minority; the public in whole indeed lack skills of critical thinking, and therefore they are often led by the movies and television. In brief, movies and television, by offering topics and affecting the ways in which we discuss “the important issues”, has a strong influence on our perception of the truth, of the world or of the structure of our society. We have to admit that it has a role in our lives as a source of information, experiences, entertainment, amusement andrelaxation.
十大托福写作题型
教育类
i. Some people believe that educating children altogether will benefit them. Others think intelligent children should be taught separately and given special courses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
ii. Today, more school leavers are unable to find jobs. Discuss the causes of rising unemployment among young adults and suggest any solutions.
全球化影响
There is a disagreement on the impact of increased business and culture contact between countries on a country’s identity. What is your opinion?
政府投资
People should keep all the money they earn and should not pay taxes to the state. Do you agree or disagree?
文化类
i. It is more important for a building to serve its purposes than to look beautiful. Architects do not need to worry about whether it is a real work of art. Do you agree or disagree?
ii. The international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. To what extent do you think its advantages far outweigh its disadvantages?
生活工作
Some people think that changing jobs periodically is good. What is your opinion?
科技影响
Many employees may work at home with modern technology. Some people claim that it benefits only workers, but not employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
广告类
There are many advertisements directed at children. Parents argue that children are misled, while advertisers consider advertising a source of useful information. What is your opinion?
动物类
Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have noticed this problem for a long time. Why have people failed to improve this situation? What are your suggestions?
传媒类
Some people suggest that there should be restrictions on a detailed description of crimes in the newspapers and on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
环境类
It is said that the best way to solve the world’s environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
托福写作题型考点解析
一、绝对题
这类题目在题目中一般都会含有should一词，或者含有“应该做”或“不应该做”的意思，问你如此做应不应该。考生要根据这些“应该”和“不应该”来写作文章。
例如这个题目就是应不应该题：
Do you agree or disagree with following statement: all school teachers should be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge.(14 CN)
二、比较题
这类题目在考试中也是比较常见的，题目中会含有2个或者3个选项来让你选择。这些选择当中可能是不同事物的横向对比，也有可能是同一事物的纵向对比，或者是今夕对比，这种情况出现的较多。如果出现这类题目时可能会同应不应该题或者是现象证明题进行混搭，这样效果会更好一些。
例如下面的题目就是比较题型：
Do you agree or disagree with following statement: nowadays advertisements are more honest than they were in the past.(121214 NA)
三、应不应该题
这类题目在题目中一般都会含有should一词，或者含有“应该做”或“不应该做”的意思，问你如此做应不应该。考生要根据这些“应该”和“不应该”来写作文章。
例如这个题目就是应不应该题：
Do you agree or disagree with following statement: all school teachers should be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge.(120114 CN)
四、现象证明题
在这一类托福独立写作题目中，主要是在讨论一个现在可能存在的或者是将来可能会发生的现象，问你这个现象有没有或者是会不会出现，考生按照这个思路去拓展写作文章。
例如下面这个题目就是一个现象证明题：
Do you agree or disagree with following statement: in modern times, grandparents cannot give their grandchildren useful advice because the world of today are too different than it was in the past.(140112 CN)
对托福独立写作题型和考点有了了解之后，考生就可以有针对性的进行练习和提高，在考试时做到有条不紊。
小学生议论文的写作基础：阐述观点 有理有据
1、议论文是议论说理表达作者的见解和主张的文章。
2、议论文的三要素包括论点、论据和论证。
3、写简单的议论文，努力做到有理有据。
议论文在“两个文明建设”和日常生活中有着极大的作用。我们必须努力学习和掌握这种文体的写法。
1、议论文的三要素
每一篇议论文，都离不开论点、论据和论证。因此，鲜明的论点，确凿的论据，严密的论证，是议论文的三个基本要素。
(1)论点，是作者对要议论的问题所持的见解或主张，是议论文的灵魂，起着统帅全文、纲举目张的作用。确立论点是写好议论文的前提。议论文的论点有以下5点要求：
①正确。写议论文的目的是为了宣传真理、明辨是非、分清正误、区别美丑，所以，思想观点正确是首要的。
②鲜明。作者在文章中必须旗帜鲜明地表明自己的观点，毫不含糊地说出自己的见解，使读者一目了然，明确理解。
③严密。论点的表达必须周密严谨，无懈可击，不给持有异议的人以可乘之机。
④集中。在一篇议论文中，只能提出一个中心论点，全篇文章始终围绕一个论点展开论述，把道理说深说透，解决问题。要求集中，也就是要避免发生论点转移，后文的论说跟前文的论点有变化，或者概念上混淆。
⑤深刻。文中提出的论点，应该是作者对于事物的新鲜、独到的见解，能够深入地揭示事物的本质，而不是一般化的老生常谈，以便更有力地说服读者，给人以深刻的启迪。
(2)论据，是用来证明论点的事实和道理。因此，论据包括事实材料和道理即理论材料。事实材料中又包括正面和反面事实材料，另外，数据材料也是其中一种。
(3)论证，就是用论据证明论点的过程和方法，使论据与论点之间有机地联系起来，构成一个统一的整体。论证的'方法，一般都是先提出论题，经过论证、分析后得出结论。论证的过程和方法，有的逐层剖析，有的边分析边作结论，有的用设问引出问题进行论证。
2、立论和驳论
议论文从论证方式看，一般分为立论和驳论两种。
①论点要正确、鲜明。正确就是论点本身要符合马列主义、[***被屏蔽词语]思想和邓小平理论，符合客观实际，并经得起实践的检验。鲜明就是说作者必须旗帜鲜明地表示肯定什么，否定什么，赞成什么，反对什么，决不可含含糊糊，模棱两可。
②论据要真实、充分。就是说，必须举出足够的事实或公认正确的道理，证明论点的正确性。
③论证必须符合正确的推理形式。写立论性的文章，要言之成理，合乎逻辑。论点统帅论据，论据证明论点。论据必须足以证明论点，论点必须是从论据中推断出来的必然结论。
议论文写作：材料和观点的一致性 作文指导(苏教版高二)
【大纲要求】
作文要观点明确，内容充实，感情真实健康；思路清晰，能围绕中心选取材料，合理安排结构。透过现象深入本质，揭示问题产生的原因，观点具有启发作用。
【训练目标 】
通过示例分析、写作训练，培养学生材料和观点一致的能力。训练他们善于感受材料、分析材料，并能够准确把握文段中心的能力，使之应用准确、恰当。
【教学重点难点】
论点与论据的一致性（对论据的多角度分析）
【教法、学法】
示例法、练习法
【自主学习】
导入：论述文段的写作，在议论文的写作中有很重要的地位，它直接影响到整篇作文的质量。在高考作文备考中，我们经常发现这样的现象，不少学生的议论文整体思路清楚，语言表达也流畅，但就是经不起仔细“琢磨”，一具体到某些意义段（或重点段），就错漏百出，结果文章上不了层次，得不到好成绩，甚为可惜。因此，论述文段的写作训练，不能不引起我们的重视。
在议论文段的写作中，大家经常要用材料来论证观点，这一方法看似简单、好操作，但实际上很容易出现毛病。它的毛病主要表现在“观点与材料分离”，虽然选择了材料，但是对于材料的分析并不能证明观点。具体有几种情形，比如“贴标签”，比如对材料的论述角度不合理，甚至材料和观点相左等。下面我们从“材料和观点一致”的知识技能入手，来探讨这一问题。
一、“材料和观点一致”知识技能
材料和观点的一致性（板书）
观点，就是作者的看法或主张；材料，就是用来证明观点的事实。材料和观点之间有本质的、必然的联系，两者必须一致，也就是观点要统帅材料，材料要为论点服务。材料与观点一致，观点得到材料有力的支撑，才会具有强大的说服力。反之，材料与观点不一致，观点得不到材料有力的支撑，观点就无法站住脚，就没有说服力。
要做到材料和观点的一致，有两点需要注意：
（一）要善于理清材料。
所谓“理清材料”就是对自己要用到的材料有清晰明确的认识，将一件事情、一个问题，分解成比较简单的组成部分和因素，理出清晰的逻辑思路，这样使用材料就会方向明确。
（二）要学会找准角度。
很多材料可选择的角度很多，角度不同，观点也有区别。要多角度分析材料，找到最切合观点的角度，然后注意论证过程中要始终围绕自己的观点来展开。
二、例子分析
（1）以“细节”为观点，组织材料论证
【文段一】贴标签
历史上，有多少仁人志士理智地对待自己人生路上的几次抉择，注重细节，造就成功。你看那陶潜，采菊东篱，悠然南山，他注重细节，按自己的心做事，悠然自在，是细节的实施，让他有了向往大自然的愿望。让劳碌的文人达官羡慕。陶潜做好了细节，他也付出了努力，将为后人铭记。君不闻那用年轻的肩膀扛起重担的洪战辉，是细节的力量使他认识到自己的位置并坚持不懈地拼搏进行；君不见21位聋哑仙子用真情演绎了一首充满爱的画面。
让我们对文段一作分析：这一段的观点句是：注重细节，造就成功
用来证明观点的论据是：陶潜、洪战辉、21位聋哑仙子做好了细节得到了成功。
显然，作者是想用三个事例来证明细节决定成败。但很明显，这个段写得不成功。为什么呢？因为她没有写出陶渊明、洪战辉、21位聋哑仙子注重了哪些细节，或者是怎样注重细节的，也就是说这些论据本身的真实性尚且有待于论证的，当然也就起不到证明论点的作用了。这些论据经不起推敲，缺乏说服力。而且段中的陶渊明等人如果换成为“李白”、“王维”等都是可以的，其表达效果也没有什么不同。可以看得出来，文段一是很典型的“贴标签”的写法。
【文段二】角度不合理
细节成就完美。
1985年，张瑞敏刚到海尔，就派人把库房里的400多台冰箱全部检查了一遍，结果发现有76台冰箱存在着各种各样的缺陷，这个厂在管理上过于松散了。张瑞敏把职工全叫到车间，对大家说：“我要是允许大家把这76台冰箱卖了，就等于允许你们明天再生产76这样的冰箱。”他宣布，把这些冰箱全部砸掉，谁做的谁砸，并抡起大锤亲手砸了第一锤！许多职工都流下了眼泪。张瑞敏告诉大家：有缺陷的产品就是废品。正是这样，三年后，海尔人捧回了我国冰箱行业的第一块金牌。试想一下，如果张瑞敏当时放纵有缺陷的产品问世，那海尔会不会有今天的成功？正因为他们有了好的量的积累，才使质变这么完美。我们坚信细节成就完美，我们坚信完美成就人生！
我们再来对文段二作一个分析：这一段的观点句是：细节成就完美。
用来证明观点的论据是：张瑞敏砸冰箱的事。
很明显，作者的用意是要用张瑞敏的事例来证明细节决定成败。但就这个文段来看，这个事例能起到证明观点的作用吗？当然不能。因为文段中的材料与观点说是不相关的两回事。论点说的是要关注细节。论据说的是管理，说的是产品有缺陷，诚然，这是属于细节范畴，但问题是，这样的表达和观点要关注细节还有一大段距离，是不能等同的。但是材料又属于细节范畴，也就是说只要角度合适，还是可以证明观点的。那么，对这个材料应怎样加工呢？关键是紧扣论点的中心词“细节”来进行叙述，突出其对细节的重视。
基于以上的思考，我们把这两个文段拿出来，给大家思考讨论，来发现问题，解决问题。作为明确的指引，我们列一张思维清单，提供了一个思考的路径。这张清单如下：
1、文段一和文段二的论点分别是什么？
2、文段一和文段二的论据分别是什么？
3、想一想：这两个文段的材料能证明论点吗？这些材料为何不能证明论点？这些论据有何不妥之处？
4、为了证明论点，这两个文段的材料分别可以做怎样的修改呢？
请对文段二做出具体的修改。
修改意见：对文段一，叙述好洪战辉、21位聋哑仙子注重细节、做好细节的'具体表现，但陶潜的关于细节的事例比较难找，与其牵强附会地写，还不如不写。
对文段二，可以做如下改动：
（改文）细节成就完美。
1985年，张瑞敏刚到海尔，就派人把库房里的400多台冰箱全部检查了一遍，结果发现有76台冰箱存在着各种各样的“小毛病”：有的烂了电线，有的坏了脚轮，有的刮花了表面，有的缺了冰箱门……张瑞敏把职工全叫到车间，对大家说：“我要是允许大家把这76台冰箱卖了，就等于允许你们明天再生产76这样的冰箱。”他宣布，把这些冰箱全部砸掉，谁做的谁砸，并抡起大锤亲手砸了第一锤！许多职工都流下了眼泪，有的职工提出：这些冰箱虽然有不少“小毛病”，但还是能用的，把冰箱便宜一点卖给自己厂里的工人吧。张瑞敏告诉大家：有“小毛病”的产品就是废品。
正是这样，三年后，海尔人捧回了我国冰箱行业的第一块金牌。试想一下，如果张瑞敏当时放纵有“小毛病”的产品出厂，那海尔会不会有今天的成功？正因为他们每一个细节都不放过，才生产出这么完美的海尔冰箱。我们坚信细节成就完美，我们坚信完美成就人生！
这样一改效果就比较好了，紧扣论点，不离“细节”二字，特别是划线的句子，对海尔“注重细节”的特点做了强化和具体化，使论据与论点的联系更加紧密。
（2）对材料具有的两面性分别论证
论题“近墨者黑” ，以陶渊明挂靴悬印为例
如果是认同这个观点，应该怎样表述：
近墨者必会黑
陶渊明在官场待过一段时间之后，对官场的黑暗肮脏有了深刻而切实的了解，知道这种黑暗无孔不入，长期身在官场是难保清明的，于是从防患于未然的角度着想，索性避开那天长日久的渐染作用，选择离开，从而保护自己高洁的人格；
如果是不认同这个观点，应该怎样表述：
近墨者不会黑
因为近墨者不会黑，所以陶渊明没有受到官场黑暗的浸染，而是保持了自己高洁的人格，从而挂靴悬印，弃绝黑暗肮脏的官场，回归纯净园田。如果近墨者会黑，那么陶渊明应该被黑暗官场所熏染，渐渐被同化，终日混迹于功名利禄之间、鞠躬逢迎，那么，有何来那潇洒的挂靴悬印呢？
【片段练习】
训练题一：目标和坚持
用“滴水穿石”的材料来论述这个论题，注意材料和观点的一致性（200字）
道理很简单，但是怎样来进行思维展开，把简单的道理通过材料淋漓尽致地展现，其实是一个需要训练的过程。
滴水的坚持毫无疑问，重点还在于它的目标始终如一。如果目标不一，那么，即使坚持到地老天荒，滴水也不可能达到穿石的一天。
（目标和坚持是一个论题，坚持或不坚持由作者决定，重点看作者所用的材料能否论证自己的观点，和观点保持一致。）
举例，必须围绕目标和坚持，一个人成功的原因，在于他树立了远大的目标，还在于他始终围绕这个目标坚持不懈，最终成功。
小结：议论文写作中论述文段的问题，从表面上看，似乎是材料的运用与叙述表达的问题，但从本质上看，却是一个思维的问题。它表明了大家的逻辑思维还不严密，在议论文的写作中还不能正确地处理好观点、材料与论证三者之间的关系。那么，我们对学生议论文段的指导，就不仅仅只是对材料与语言的指导，本质上，还是对学生逻辑思维的指导。因此，给学生列一张思维清单，提供了一个思考的路径，不失为一个有效的指导方法。
(其次，从学生作文的具体错误出发，把它进行分类和整理，作为我们教学或研究的起点，也不失是一个有效的作文教学的方法。有时，它要比空洞的灌输与说教要更有效果。)
【课后练习】
苦难造就人才
周云
★ 总结提炼
★ 议论文写作
★ 提炼营销技巧
