下面是小编整理的同学的爆笑英语议论文（共含15篇），欢迎您能喜欢，也请多多分享。同时，但愿您也能像本文投稿人“想有钱”一样，积极向本站投稿分享好文章。
同学的爆笑英语议论文
前情提要：地“floor” 花“flowers”
前情提要：炒菜”cook the meaIs”倒垃圾“empti the trash”
这是一节英语课······
老师，全班同学齐读：“sweep the floor！”（扫地）（有杂音，有杂音！）
老师，全班同学齐读：“wayer the flowers！”（浇花）（有杂音，有杂音！）
同学1：“ I’can sweep the follr！”（我会扫地）
老师：“He’s helpfu！”（你有用）
老师：“齐读！wayer the flowers！“
同学XXXX＋大声音最大：“wayer the floor！！！！”（浇地．．．）
老师：“同学刘XXXX＋大！”
同学刘XXXX＋超级卡壳．．
老师：“．．．．浇地也可以．．．．”（神情一般．．）
老师：“······”
下课了。
刘爽对我们说：“我学会了个新单词！sweep the flowers！！！”（扫花） 我超级晕．．．
我对同桌说：“刘爽又发明了新单词！cook the trash！（炒垃圾）empty the Liushuang（倒刘爽）！！！！”
同学议论文900字
说到同学，每个人都会想起一大堆，小学的同学，中学的同学，大学的同学，男同学，女同学，经常见面的同学，不经常见面的同学，出人头地的同学，默默无闻的同学等等。
同学是天定一生的缘分，茫茫人海，为什么就偏偏我们几十个人，能够坐在同一个屋檐下，听一样的讲解，学一样的功课，做一样的作业，玩一样的游戏，天冷了，我们一起冷，天热了，我们一起热。要考试了，我们一起紧张，要放假了，我们一起快乐。而且我们之间的距离总是那么近。脚可以踩到脚，胳膊可以碰到胳膊。几年下，谁怎么哭，怎么笑，谁有什么小脾气，谁有什么小毛病，你知道，我知道，全班人都知道，除了兄弟姐妹。谁和谁能有这样亲密的接触？
同学是用之不尽的财富，多一个同学，就好比在银行里多了一个存折，当你需要的时候可以随时去支取，而且有些“存折”的“利息”，增长得非常快，你就会突然发现，当初的某某同学，已经摇身一变，成为一个风云人物，你想方设法办不到的事，只要他一个电话马上搞定，而且在同学之间还有一个“潜规则”。无论当多大的官。多么的有钱，都不能在同学面前摆“架子”。如果老同学找你时你不热情不积极不主动，就会遭到众人的谴责，不仅同学会对你敬而远之，连官场和市场中人，也会觉得你这人“不够意思”。
同学是荣辱不弃的伙伴，当你失意的.时候，当你落魄的时候，当你穷撩的时候，当你无为的时候，很多人都可能离开你，包括你最好的朋友和同事，但同学不会，他们理解你，尊重你，支持你，安慰你，见面的时候，会同样的热情，有事的时候，会同样的积极。而且越是在这种情况下，同学们就越愿意接近你，帮助你。使你不再迷茫，不再孤独，不再失落。也只有在这个时候。你才会感觉到，只有这些同学才和自己的家人一样，不仅可以共欢乐，而且可以共分忧。
同学不计前嫌。不会因为儿时，少时的一些“小摩擦”而耿耿于怀，到我们长大成人之后，那些就不再是烦恼，而是美好的回忆。
同学不分高低。多年之后，即便你发现那些当初同学在学校远不如自己，但如今以超过自己，也不要丧气，每一个同学的进步，对我们都无一害而百利。
同学越老越亲。刚出学校门，因为年轻为了生活而四处奔波，所以就常常忽略了和同学联系，等过了很多年后才会发现，原来同学才是“最可爱的人”。
同学需要珍惜，如果你高高在上，再好的同学也会离你而去，如果你自暴自弃，再多的同学也帮不了你，同学之情，就像一棵大树，只有不断的浇灌和培养，才会繁茂亮丽。
中国式英语分为两种。一种是Chinese English，一种是China English。
其中Chinese English就是Chinglish，是用中式的语法和英式的词汇组合成的，属于语言不规范使用。而China English指的则是中国特有的东西，是允许存在的。比如“饺子、功夫、气功、阴阳”等词，都用音译进入了英文词典。
给大家看看一些搞笑的Chinglish，笑笑就好，可千万别“学以致用”哦!
1 . You ask me，me ask who? 你问我，我问谁
2 . Heart flower angry open. 心花怒放
3 . Chickens That Did Not Have Sexual Experience 童子鸡
4 . Four Glad Meatballs 直译：四个开心的肉球 被用为：四喜丸子
5 . Wash after relief 用过请冲水 解释：中国的厕所光冲(flush)不行，居然还要“洗”(wash)!
6 . One car come,one car go,two car pengpeng,one car died! 关于一场车祸的描述
7 . Horse horse tiger tiger. 马马虎虎
8 . Good good study, day day up. 好好学习，天天向上
9 . How are you ? How old are you? 怎么是你，怎么老是你?
10 . You have seed. I will give you some color to see see. Brothers!Together up! 你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧，兄弟们，一起上!
11 . Dragon born dragon, chicken born chicken, mouse“s son can make hole! 龙生龙，凤生凤，老鼠的儿子会打洞!
12 . Go past, no mistake past. 走过路过，不要错过
13 . As far as you go to die. 有多远，死多远
14 . We two who and who? 咱俩谁跟谁?
15 . people moumtain people sea 人山人海
16 . No three no four. 不三不四
17 . Know is know, noknow is noknow. 知之为知之，不知为不知
18 If you want money,I have no;if you want life,I have one! 要钱没有，要命一条
19 . watch sister 表妹
20 . fire big 火大
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: ”You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?“ ”In the rat-trap, sir,“ replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, ”Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot.“
”Why use my elbow and foot?“
”Well, gosh,“ was the reply, ”You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?“
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow.
曾经有只蜗牛，它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲倦。
Hedecided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference.
他决心去弄些跑得飞快的轮子来改变这种境况。
After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get.
逛了一圈之后，它决定买Datson 240-Z。
So the snail goes to the nearest Datsundealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted ”240-S“.
去了最近的Datsun经销店，去买Datson 240-Z，但是它想把这辆车重新刷漆，改称240-S。
The dealer asks, ”Why 'S'?“
经销商问：“为什么是S呢?”
The snail replies, ”'S' stands for snail.
蜗牛回答说：“‘s’代表蜗牛。
I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving.“
我想让每一个看见我呼啸而过的人知道是谁在开车。”
Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail,
经销商不想失去把汽车卖给蜗牛这样一个机会，
so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee.
所以他同意收取些许费用，把车重新涂漆。
The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed.
蜗牛开着它的新车，把自己的余生都用在了快乐地高速行使在告诉公路上。
And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say ”Wow! Look at that S-car go!“
而不论何时任何人看见它飞驰而过的时候，都会说：“哦!看那S-car 。”
The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell.
So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, ”I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George.“ Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. ”Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?“
George replied, ”Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!“
典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感同情，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或朋友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。
因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我注意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀同情地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告诉我，你没有任何朋友或家人吗?”
乔治回答：“喔!当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面!”
1.Who is closer to you, your mom or your dad?
爸爸和妈妈谁和你更亲?
2.What month do soldiers hate?
当兵的不喜欢几月份?
3.How many feet are there in a yard?
一码有多少英尺?
4.What is heavier in summer than in winter?
什么东西夏天比冬天重?
5.What clothing is always sad?
什么衣服总是伤感的?
6.How many legs do horses have?
马有几条腿?
7.What fruit is never found singly?
什么水果永远不会是单个的?
8.What kind of clothes lasts the longest?
什么衣服穿得最久?
9.Does any child like going to school?
有没有小孩子喜欢上学?
10.Why are giraffes the cheapest to feed?
为什么养长颈鹿最不花钱?
11.How can you make the door last?
怎样能使门经久耐用?
12.What's the most difficult train to catch?
赶什么火车最不容易?
13.Why do people go to bed?
人们为什么睡觉?
14. What letter do most people fear most?
大多数人最害怕什么字母?
15.What two words contain thousands of letters?
哪两个单词包含了所有的字母?
16.Which state in the United States is round at both ends and high in the middle?
美国哪个州两头圆,中间高?
17.What's the smallest room in the World?
世界上什么房间最小?
18.What did the big chimney say to the little chimney while working?
工作时大烟囱对小烟囱说些什么?
19.How long is a shoe, usually?
一般鞋有多长?
20.Which can move faster, heat or cold?
冷和热谁跑得快?
1 Lighter than whatI am made of,More of me is hiddenThan is seen.
key: iceberg
2 I turn around once,What is out will not get in.I turn around again,What is in will not get out.
key: stopcock
3 Each morning I appearTo lie at your feet,All day I will followNo matter how fast you run,Yet I nearly perishIn the midday sun.
key: Shadow
4 Bright as diamonds,Loud as thunder,Never still,
A thing of wonder.
key: waterfall? (fireworks?)
5 My life can be measured in hours,I serve by being devoured.Thin, I am quickFat, I am slowWind is my foe.
key: candle
英语绕口令大全爆笑
1. please, paul, pause for applause.
2. ”shall i show you the shop for shoes and shirts?“ shirley said to shelley.
3. do you agree, if you are free to come to tea with me by the sea?
4. canners can can what they can can but can not can things can't be canned.
5. bill's big brother is building a beautiful building between two big brick blocks.
6. paul called from the hall that he had slipped on the floor and couldn't get to the door.
7. i'd buy my ties before the price begins to rise.
8. a snow-white swan swam swiftly to catch a slowly swimming snake in a lake.
9. it is a fine thing to sing in spring, i think.
10. famine and failure faced the frightened farmer.
11. i am amazed it is a craze these days to dance to music of jazz.
12. in winter the weather in wales is wild.
13. i know. you know. i know that you know. i know that you know that i know.
14. mike likes to write by the nice bright light at night.
15. peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
16.the sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep sick.
17.dry august and warm doth harvest no harm.
18.the cuckoo comes in april, and stays the month of may; sings a song at midsummer, and then goes away.
19.money the best friend of the masses, the support of the classes, the aim of the lasses, the ruin of the asses.
20.avery's army's armory.
21.”what ails alex?“ asks alice. ”what ails alex?“ asks alice. ”what ails alex?“ asks alice.
22.if assist a sister-assistant, will the sister's sister-assistant assist me .
23.are archie and audrey's archery arrows as arty as artie's archery arrows?
24.ava ate eighty eggs. ava ate eighty eggs. ava ate eighty eggs.
25.all al's sly allies lie. all al's sly allies lie. all al's sly allies lie.
26. the small ball did fall from the top of the tall wall.
27. bill's big brother is building a beautiful building.
28. i wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes.
29.if two witches watched two watches,which witch would watch which watch?
30.betty botter：betty botter bought a bit of butter. the butter betty botter bought was a bit bitter and made her batter bitter. but a bit of better butter makes batter better. so betty botter bought a bit of better butter, making betty botter's bitter batter better.
Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.
她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。
His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?
他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么? 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?
A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?
一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.一天，比尔和汤姆去餐馆吃饭。当服务员端上两份牛排时，比尔迅速地为自己拿了比较大的那块。
Tom wasn't happy about that: ”When are you going to learn to be polite?“
汤姆对此很不开心：“你什么时候能学会礼貌?”
Bill: ”If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?“
比尔说：“如果让你先拿，你会拿哪个?”
Tom: ”The smaller piece, of course.“
汤姆说：“当然是小的那个。”
Bill: ”What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want, right?“
比尔：“那你还抱怨什么?小的那个不就是你想要的，不是吗?”
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.一男子去酒吧，点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时，发现一只猴子荡下来，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。
The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says ”Do you know your monkey stole my beer.“ The pianist replies ”No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
该男子问酒吧招待，这只猴子是谁的。服务员回答说是钢琴手的。男子走到钢琴手面前问：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说：“没有，但是如果你能哼唱，我会为你演奏的。”
1.冷笑话大全爆笑 短
2.爆笑语句冷笑话大全
3.冷笑话大全爆笑
4.精选冷笑话大全爆笑
5.爆笑冷笑话大全
6.极度爆笑冷笑话大全
7.冷笑话大全2017爆笑
8.超级冷笑话大全爆笑
9.最新爆笑冷笑话大全
10.爆笑的冷笑话大全
1. What can hear you without ears and can answer you without a mouth?
【谜底：An echo.】
2. What has a soft bed but never sleeps, a big mouth but never speaks?
【谜底：A river.】
3. When the boy fell into the water, what's the first thing he did?
【谜底：He got wet first of all.】
4. What will you do if a man-eating tiger is running after you? Nothing.
【谜底：Because I'm a woman.】
5. Why is the person wearing two coats while painting the house?
【谜底：Because the instructions on the paint can say “Put on two coats for best results.”】
6. When can you have an empty pocket and still have something in it?
【谜底：When you have a hole in your pocket.】
7. What's too much for one, just right for two, but nothing at all for three?
【谜底：A secret.】
8. You have it,You read it,There are some words and pictures on it.What is it?
【谜底：a book】
9. What has a round face and two thin hands, one hand short, one hand long?
【谜底：a clock】
10. If there were only three girls in the world, what do you think they would do?
【谜底：Two of them would get together and talk about the other one.】
Questions:
1.Can you tell me when was the Iron Age
能告诉我铁器时代是什么时候吗
2.Why did the rooster refuse to fight
公鸡为何不应战
3.What king belongs to a student
什么国王属于学生
Keys:
1.Before the drip-dry era.
在滴干成衣时期之前.
2.Because it's a chicken.
因为它是一只鸡.
3.A ruler.
一把尺.
Notes:
1.iron n.铁器,铁;熨斗
drip/drip/ v.滴水
drip-dry adj.(指衣服)滴干免熨的
2.rooster/'ru:st+/ n.公鸡,也作 cook
chicken n.鸡,包括 hen(母鸡), rooster/cock
(公鸡),Chick(小鸡);胆小鬼,懦夫
3.ruler n.统治者;尺
★ 英语绕口令爆笑
★ 妹妹的爆笑英语
★ 英语议论文写作
★ 爆笑歇后语
★ 爆笑语录
