下面小编给大家整理的2分钟笑话故事（共含9篇），欢迎阅读!同时，但愿您也能像本文投稿人“心疼的你”一样，积极向本站投稿分享好文章。
清代初年江南出了三个神童：孙寅、朱光和戚琳。 一次三个神童学着大人的样子在家喝酒行令。他们约定每人先吟诵一首古诗，但必须有意漏掉一个字;然后再吟诗一首诗，诗中必须有一句说明前首诗漏字的原因。
孙寅先吟了一首唐诗：
独怜幽草涧边生，上有黄鹂深树鸣。
春潮带雨晚来急，野渡无人自横。
这是韦应物的一首诗。诗中末句漏了一个：“舟”字。看热闹的人都在想：“舟”到什么地方去了呢?孙寅随即吟出了另外一首诗：
朝辞白帝彩云间，千里江陵一日还。
两岸猿声啼不住，轻已过万重山。
既然“轻舟已过万重山”，当然见不到“舟”了。李白的这首《朝发白帝城》大家都知道;又看到孙寅用得这么自然、恰到好处，立即齐声叫好。
下面一个是朱光。他吟了一首王昌龄的《出塞》：
秦时明月汉时关，万里长征人未还。
但使龙城飞将在，不教胡渡阴山。
咦，“马”到什么地方去了?
一封朝奏九重天，夕贬潮州路八千。
欲为圣明除弊事，肯将衰朽异残年!
云横秦岭家何在?雪拥蓝关马不前。
知汝远来应有意，好收吾骨瘴江边。
这首唐代韩愈的名作《左迁至蓝关示侄孙湘》一吟出，大家立即拍手称妙。原来，诗的第六句巧妙地回答了“马”不见了的原因。
戚琳也吟出了一首唐诗：
雨前初见花间蕊，雨后全无叶底花。
蜂纷纷过墙去，却凝春色在邻家。
第五句中漏掉了一个“蝶”字。“蝶”飞到哪里去了呢?戚琳又很巧妙地运用了宋代诗人杨万里的《宿新寺徐公店》回答了这个问题：
篱落疏疏一径深，树头花落未成阴。
儿童急走追黄蝶，飞入菜花无处寻。
四周立即响起了一阵热烈的掌声。
从前，有对父子要去市场卖驴。父子俩人牵着驴走在路上。
走到村口他们遇到了父亲的朋友。他笑着对父子俩说：“真傻!天底下怎么还有这么傻的人啊。放着驴不骑，既然要牵着走。呵呵。”“对呀，对呀!说得很对啊!”父亲突然觉得这话有理。
“孩子，来。骑上去!我会牵着的。不会掉下来的!”父亲让孩子骑在驴背上，自己跟在后边。
这时，对面又来了熟人，看着他们生气地说：“哎!哎!让孩子骑驴，自己却走，算什么!真是养不教父之过呀。怎么能这样教孩子呀。长大以后就不懂得尊老爱幼了，真的是可悲呀!”
“咦!对呀!有道理。孩子，来，下来走。”说完，自己骑上驴背，让孩子跟在后面，蹒跚地走着。
走着走着，碰见一个挤牛奶的女孩。女孩用责备的口吻说：“哎唷!世上怎么会有这么残酷的父亲，自己轻轻松松地骑在驴背上，却让那么小的孩子走路，真可怜!真残忍!”“是啊!他说的也很有理嘛!”父亲点头赞同。于是父亲索性叫孩子也骑到驴背上，朝着市场的方向走去。
驴子要载两个人，渐渐地走起路来非常吃力，呼吸急促，开始摇摇晃晃的。可是俩父子并没有发觉，还一边轻哼着小曲，一边在驴背上摇晃呢!
驴子好不容易走到教堂前，喘了一大口气，休息休息。教堂前面正站了一位牧师，叫住了他们。
“喂!喂!请等一下，让那么瘦弱的驴怎么载两个人呀，驴子太可怜了。你们要去哪里呢?”
“我们正要去市场把这匹驴给卖掉!”
“啊!这可就问题大了。我看你们还没走到市场，驴子就要先累死了，那样就一分钱都卖不出到。信不信由你们。”
“那该咋办呐?”
“把驴子扛着去吧!”
“好!有道理。就这么办。”父子俩立刻从驴背上跳下来，然后把驴子的腿绑好，再用棍子把驴扛在肩上走。
这样扛着，可把父子俩累的涨红了脸，摇摇晃晃地喊着：“怎么这么重呢!我们加把劲，赶快走!”
站在路边的人看见他们父子都呆住了。“怎么还有这么奇怪的人啊!”
扛着驴子的父子不久走到了一座桥上，过了桥就是市场了。父亲说道：“孩子，市场快到了，再忍耐一会儿!乖!”
驴子就这样被他们绑起来被倒吊着扛着，反而痛苦得不得了，不但口吐白沫，还不停的地扭动着。
“嘿!乖一点啊!”父亲严厉地斥骂着。
可是驴子不听，扭动得更厉害了。结果，棍子啪的一声折断了。绳子也弄断了，驴子倒栽葱似的掉进河里。很不凑巧，雨后河水暴涨，驴子被冲走了。“啊!怎么会这样呢?这都是一味听别人的意见，而产生最严重的后果啊!”
父子俩只好垂头丧气地走回家。
2分钟笑话故事_2分钟幽默笑话故事
John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.
“John!” Teacher says angrily.
“What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken.
“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.
“No one is laughing.” Teacher says.
“No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.
“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.
认错
约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。
“约翰!”老师生气地喊他。
“什么?出什么事了?”约翰醒了。
“你为什么要做鬼脸?这是教室!看看!同学们都在笑!”老师生气地说。
“没有人在笑呀。”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。
“不，不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。
“嗯，还不错。你承认自己的错误，还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。
Tom is a very old man. After dinner, he likes walking in the street. And he goes to bed at seven o’clock.
But tonight, a car stopped at his house. A policeman helps him get out. He tells Tom’s wife, “The old man couldn’t find his way in the street. He asked me to take him in the car.”
After the policeman leaves there, his wife asks, “Tom, you go to the street every night. But tonight you can’t find the way, what’s the matter?”
The old man smiles like a child and says, “I couldn’t find my way? I didn’t want to walk home.”
我不想走回家
汤姆是一位老人，他喜欢在晚饭后到大街上散步，在7点回来睡觉。
但是，今天晚上一辆小汽车停在他家门前，汤姆在一位警察的帮助下走下汽车。警察告诉汤姆的妻子：“这位老人在街上迷路了，他让我用汽车送他回来。”
警察走后：“汤姆，你每天都到那条街上散步，但是今天你迷路了，你怎么了?”
这位老人像孩子般的笑道：“我迷路了?我是不想走路回家。”
2分钟英语小故事笑话_英语幽默笑话小故事
Harry is eighteen now .He studies in a middle school .His parents like him very much and hope he can become a famous man .So they often tell him to study hard and they do all for him .They call him at six in the morning ,after breakfast his father takes him to school in a car and in the afternoon ,as soon as the young man comes back ,the supper is ready .Of course ,he never washes his clothes or goes to buy something in the shops .
Once Harry’s father was sent to London on business .He would stay there for half a year .Leaving ,he told his wife to take good care of their son .The woman had to get up earlier and did all what her husband did before .And two months later she was so tied that she was ill in bed .Now the young man got into trouble .He couldn’t do any housework .He had to do as his mother told him .Even he didn’t know where to get on the bus !
Yesterday Harry’s mother found his shoes were worn out and told him to buy a new pair in the shop .But he didn’t know how to choose .The woman had a sign and gave him a shoe pattern and told him to buy a pair of shoes himself .It’s Saturday today and Harry doesn’t go to school .With a policeman’s help ,he found a shop .The shopkeeper was friendly to him .The man brought a lot of shoes and asked him to choose .When he was trying on a pair ,suddenly she remembered something and took them off .The man surprised and asked ,“What’s the matter ,young man ?”
“I am sorry ,I’ve left the shoes pattern at home !”
One day women's dresses were on sale at a department store. A dignified middle-aged man decided to pick a dress for his wife, but soon he found himself being battered by frantic women.
一天，一家百货公司的女装大减价，一位高贵的中年男士想给他的太太挑选一件女装。但是，没过多久，他就发现自己已被疯狂的女人们撞得踉踉跄跄。
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed through the crowd.
他竭力地忍耐着。后来，他低下头，挥舞双臂，挤过人群。
“You there!” challenged a thrilling voice. “Can't you act like a gentleman?”
“你干嘛?”有人尖声叫道，“你难道不能表现得像一位绅士吗?”
“Listen,” he said. “I have been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady.”
“听着，”他说。“我已经像绅士一样表现了一个小时了。从现在起，我要表现得像一位女士。”
A penny-pinching farmer didn’t want his hired hand to stop working. One morning, he told the farmhand, “It’s such a nuisance to come in from the field, wash up for lunch and take time to eat. Why don’t we save time and eat lunch now?”
The hired man agreed. The farm’s wife brought in some cold meat and fried potatoes, and the two men ate again.
When they had finished, the cheap farmer said, “While we’re still at the table, let’s have supper too.” They were now served steak, boiled potatoes and mixed vegetables, and they ate once more.
“Now that the meals are out of the way, ” the farmer announced, “we can go out and work all day without interruption. ”
“Oh, no,” the farmhand answered. “I never work after supper.”
一位农场主非常吝啬，不想让他雇佣的帮手停下来休息。一天早上，他对帮手说：“从地里回来，又要洗手吃饭，又花时间，真是太不方便了。我们何不省点时间，现在就吃午饭呢?”
雇员同意了。农场主的妻子端进来一些冷肉和油炸土豆。于是，两个人又开始吃起来。
吃完后，吝啬鬼说：“既然我们还在桌子边，让我们连晚饭也吃了吧。”这次上桌的有排骨、煮土豆和杂烩青菜。于是两个人又吃起来。
“现在三顿饭都吃过了，”农场主宣称道，“我们便可以出去一整天不停地干活了。”
“哦，不，”那帮手回答说，“晚饭后我从不工作。”
据鲁迅的侄女周晔的回忆，她小的时候，有一次在伯父家吃饭，曾问鲁迅先生道：“为什么我爸爸的鼻子“又高又直”，而您的鼻子“又扁又平”呢?”
鲁迅笑着说：“你不知道，在我小的时候，我的鼻子跟你爸爸的一样，也是又高又直。可是到了后来，碰了几次壁，把鼻子碰扁了。”对于这个解释的真谛，年幼的周晔当然难以理解，便问：“你怎么会碰在墙壁上呢?是不是你走路不小心啊?”鲁迅回答说：“你想，四周黑洞洞的，还不容易碰壁么?”
周晔遂信以为真，当即一副恍然大悟的样子，她说：“墙壁当然比鼻子硬得多了，怪不得伯父把鼻子碰扁了。”在座的其余人都哈哈大笑起来。
丽萨在礼拜学校(免费学习圣经知识的学校)学习，上课的时候她举手发问道：“如果我是个好姑娘，将来一定能到天国吗?”
“是的，肯定能到天国。”负责教他们的老牧师回答说。
“那我的猫怎么办呢?它能跟我去吗?”
“不能，我的孩子，猫没有什么灵魂，它不能到天国去。”
“我院子里的那些牛呢?难道它们也不能到天国去吗?”
“不能，我的孩子，牛也不能到天国去。”
“这么说来我必须每天到地狱里去取牛奶喽!”
有一次，一个美国记者同周恩来谈话时，看到桌子上放有一支美国派克钢笔，就带着几分讥讽的口气问：“请问总理阁下，你们堂堂中国人，为何还要用我们美国的钢笔呢?”周恩来听出了它的弦外之音，就回答道：
“提起这支钢笔，话就长了。这是一位朝鲜朋友抗美的战利品，作为礼物赠给我的。我无功不受禄，就拒收。朋友说，留下做个纪念吧。我觉得有意义，就收下了这支贵国的钢笔。”
那个记者听了后，一脸窘相，怔了半晌说不出话来。
★ 恐怖笑话故事
★ 最短笑话故事
★ 儿童幽默笑话故事
★ 古代名人笑话故事
