下面是小编为大家整理的父亲节趣味小笑话：Setting the Table 摆桌子（共含7篇），供大家参考借鉴，希望可以帮助到有需要的朋友。同时，但愿您也能像本文投稿人“桥华子墨”一样，积极向本站投稿分享好文章。
Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when guests were due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing.
小苏珊是妈妈的好帮手。她在有客人来家里就餐时帮忙摆桌子。现在一切准备就绪，客人走进，所有人都坐好了。妈妈突然发现缺了什么。
“Susan,” she said, “You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place.”
“苏珊。”她说道：“你忘了在史密斯先生那里放刀叉了。”
“I thought he wouldn't need them,” explained Susan.
“我以为他不需要那些。”苏珊解释道。
“Daddy says he always eats like a horse!”
“爸爸说他总是吃得像马一样!”
Penny Trick
一便士的小把戏
After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.
某晚，在把三岁宝宝山米放到床上后，他的父母听到啜泣声从他的房间传来。
Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping.
冲进屋内后，他们看见他正嚎啕大哭着。他成功告诉他们他吞下了一便士一定活不成了。说什么都无济于事。
His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted.
他的父亲，试图让他冷静下来。他从口袋中掏出一便士，在山米的耳边假装要把它拿过来。山米很开心。
In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed, and then cheerfully demanded, “Do it again, Dad!”
山米以迅雷不及掩耳盗铃之将钱从父亲手中夺过，吞下，然后高兴的要求道：“再来一遍，爸爸!”
Dead Seagull
死去的海鸥
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son Bob ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
一位父亲带着孩子在沙滩玩。四岁的儿子鲍伯跑向他，抓着他的手领他到岸边，在沙滩上发现一只死去的海鸥。
“Daddy, what happened to him?” Bob asked.
“爸爸，他怎么了?”鲍伯问。
“He died and went to Heaven,” the dad replied.
“他死了并去了天堂。”爸爸回答道。
Bob thought a moment and then said, “Did God throw him back down?”
鲍伯想了一分钟后问：“上帝又把它扔回来了吗?”
下面是关于父亲的趣味英语笑话两则，看看吧!
One
Poor Preacher
穷困潦倒的传教士
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, “When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money.”
礼拜后男孩问牧师：“我长大后会给你一些钱。”
“Well, thank you,” the pastor replied, “but why?”
“好啊，谢谢你。”牧师回答道：“不过为什么?”
“Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had.”
“因为我爸爸说你是我们见过的最穷的传教士之一。”
Two
Setting the Table
摆桌子
Little Susan was mother's helper. She helped set the table when guests were due for dinner. Presently everything was on, the guest came in, and everyone sat down. Then Mother noticed something was missing.
小苏珊是妈妈的好帮手。她在有客人来家里就餐时帮忙摆桌子。现在一切准备就绪，客人走进，所有人都坐好了。妈妈突然发现缺了什么。
“Susan,” she said, “You didn't put a knife and fork at Mr. Smith's place.”
“苏珊。”她说道：“你忘了在史密斯先生那里放刀叉了。”
“I thought he wouldn't need them,” explained Susan.
“我以为他不需要那些。”苏珊解释道。
“Daddy says he always eats like a horse!”
“爸爸说他总是吃得像马一样!”
趣味幽默英语小笑话：没把头发全剪掉啊
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.
麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发，但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天，正当麦尔斯理发时，经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。
“Hello, Miles,” the manager said. “I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.”
“你好，麦尔斯，”经理说。“我看到你在上班时间理发了。”
“Yes, sir, I am,” admitted Miles calmly. “You see, sir, it grows in office time.”
“是的，先生。正是这样。”麦尔斯平静地承认了。“可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。”
“Not all of it,” said the manager at once. “Some of it grows in your own time.”
“不全都是吧，”经理立刻说，“有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。”
“Yes, sir, that's quite true.” Answered Miles politely, “but I'm not having it all cut off.”
“对呀，先生，你说得很对。”麦尔斯礼貌地回答说，“但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。”
趣味幽默英语小笑话：以“命”抵命
The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty. In order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand tomouth. As a result of his lack of food he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, he got well again.
英国作家理查德・萨维奇一度在伦敦过着贫困潦倒的生活，为了赚几个钱，他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本，萨维奇过着朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物，他病得很厉害。后来，由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术，他才又恢复了健康。
After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. But still no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. Inthe end he came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, “You know you owe your life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”
过了一两个星期之后，医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单，但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单，但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后，他又送来帐单要钱。最后，医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中，对他说：“你明白，你是欠我一条命的，我希望你有所报答。”
“I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will givemy life to you.”
“是的，”萨维奇说，“我是欠你一条命，为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答，我将把我的命给你。”
With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.
说着这番话，萨维奇递给医生两卷书，名叫《理查德・萨维奇的一生》。
太黑了，看不见
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, “Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?” After a while, her son returned and said, “Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all.”
晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”
经典趣味英语笑话：One real man
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.
It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell these chickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.
Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.
一个真正的男子汉
古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。
然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。
国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。
陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。
经典趣味英语笑话：万能的圣诞老人并非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?”
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn't you get my E-mail?”
一个女孩爬到圣诞老人的膝盖上，圣诞老人例行公事的问：“今年圣诞节你想要什么呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛惊讶的望着圣诞老人一分钟都没讲话，然后喘着气说到：“你没收到我的电子邮件吗?(我想要什么都写上面了，万能的圣诞老人咋能不知道捏)”
借公牛一用
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words.
One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man.
After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, “OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.
从前，有个人很富有，但他不识字。
一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一头公牛，便写了个条，让仆人送到富人那里。 仆人把条子给了富人。富人便假装看了一会儿，然后说道：“好啦，我知道了。回去告诉你的主人，我马上自己过去。”
What Color什么颜色
An impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: ”What kind is it? Does it have a stick shift? Does it have a tape deck?“
”It's a 1982 Toyota,“ he replied. ”It's a four speed, and, yes, it has a tape deck . “ Pleased, I asked what color it was.
”Well, “ he said uncomfortably, ” which part?"
作为南卡罗莱那州克莱姆森大学的一个本科生，我囊中羞涩，当我父亲告诉我他为我买了辆车时，我甚是激动。我几乎控制不住我的热情，问了爸爸几个关键问题：“什么车?有没有手排挡?有没有磁带舱?”
“是1982年产丰田车，”他回答说，“四速，还有，是的，有磁带舱。”我甚是高兴，又问是什么颜色的。
“哦，”他很不舒服地说，“你指哪一部分?”
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their nigh clothes. Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don’t think of money when they’re afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don’t know my work，” said the other. “What is your work?” “I’m a policeman.
“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman. “I’m a writer. I’m always telling stories about things that never happened.”
【译文】
你知道我是干什么的吗?
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。 两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。 “你是干什么的?”
“我是警察。”
“噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。 “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
趣味英语：笑话三则之 Who is the laziest
Father:Well,Jack,I talked with your teacher today .And now I want to ask you a question ,Who is the laziest person inyour class ?
Jack:I don`t know ,father.
Father:Oh,think!When other boys and girls are reading and wirting ,who sits quietly and only watch how other people word?
Jack:Our teacher ,father.
【译文】
谁是最懒惰的
爸爸：杰克，我今天已经和你的老师谈过了，现在我想问你，谁是你们班上最懒的人?
杰克：我不知道，爸爸
爸爸：你再好好想想，当别的同学都在读书写字的时候，谁楞在那儿仅仅是看着其他人?
杰克：是我们的老师，爸爸
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