下面是小编为大家准备的“倾听心声，刻画心理”——作文讲评课教学设计（共含3篇），欢迎阅读借鉴。同时，但愿您也能像本文投稿人“dsghghjkyuiyi”一样，积极向本站投稿分享好文章。
“倾听心声，刻画心理”——作文讲评课教学设计
教学目标：
1、分享体验，发现和总结心理活动描写的方法
2、在心理描写方法指导下进行“思维共生式”作文片段评改训练
教学重难点：
1、分享体验，发现和总结心理活动描写的方法（重点）
2、在心理描写方法指导下分享体验，“思维共生式”作文片段评改训练（重点和难点）
教学背景：
学生习作存在的普遍现象：
1、花大量的笔墨交代忘记写作业的原因，在从教师到办公室路上的心理活动反应则简单的一两笔带过。
2、就算有心理描写，也往往是通篇或整段整段的心理独白，不懂得综合运用多种心理描写方法来使心理活动丰富细腻生动。
3、有小部分知道综合运用多种方法来描写心里活动，可也有很大的修改空间。如只是简单地写害怕被老师骂啊打啊或害怕被投诉到家长那等等，描写时欠真实、具体，欠个性化等特点。
课前准备： 作文片段描写
昨天玩得太尽兴了，忘了写周末作业，老师找同学把你请到办公室去。那么，正走在从教室去办公室的路上的你，此时此刻，会有哪些心理反应或表现呢？请认真揣摩此刻“你”的所思所想所做等情况，并且把它写下来。
要求：①300字左右；②用第一人称 ③可适当加上周围景物的描写
教学过程：
活动一：分享体验，了解心理活动的形式特点
情境设置：创设情境导入。分享学生自己当时的心理感受。启发：面对普遍拥有的某种心理感受，我们怎样才能写得具体形象而富有个性呢？
活动二：分享心理描写精彩片段，总结归纳心理活动的描写方法
①她忐忑不安地想∶“他会说什么呢？这是闹着玩的吗？是他来啦？……不，还没来！……为什么把他们抱过来啊？……他会揍我的！那也活该，我自作自受……嗯，揍我一顿也好！” （《穷人》）
——
②“我？”桑娜脸色发白，说，“我嘛……缝缝补补……风吼得这么凶，真叫人害怕。我可替你担心呢！”（《穷人》）
——
③我疑心这是极好的文章，因为读到这里，他总是微笑起来，而且将头仰起来，摇着，向后面拗过去，拗过去。（《从百草园到三味书屋》）——
④老师宣读考试成绩时，天阴沉沉的.，不时刮来阵阵冷风。风刮到我身上，我就不由自主地打颤。教室里静悄悄的，只听见“沙沙”的发试卷的声音。（学生习作）
——
小结：描写心理的方法主要有：
① ；
② ；
③
①内心独白；②语言、神态、动作描写；③环境烘托
活动三：分享与评改，思维共生
1.小试牛刀：
请同学们根据习作中的“我”紧张、忐忑不安、害怕甚至恐惧等心理特点，仿照示例，根据要求修改以下文字，让人物的心理活动更加具体、真实、细腻。
文段一：
原文段（叶同学）
阅读要求
点评解说
上完早自习，要交周末作业的时候，我才想起周末作业没写。当我还没来及补写的时候，老师就叫同学叫我去办公室了。
在从教室到办公室的路上，我非常担心、害怕、恐惧。害怕老师会批评我、打我。我走到楼梯转角时，一阵冷风从我的脸上飘过，这使我更加不安。但是我还是鼓起勇气走进了办公室。
我走到老师面前时，老师生气的说：“为什么不写作业？”老师话还没说完，我就热泪盈眶了。老师便抚摸着我的头轻声说道：“用下课时间把作业补好。”
我听到这句话的时候，我心里所想的念头都飘散如烟了。我还笑出了声，老师也对我笑了。
“我”的担心、害怕、恐惧等心理特点从哪些地方可以看出来吗？若没有，或不具体，请用刚刚学过的心理描写的方法来展开描写，使得“担心、害怕、恐惧”等心理活动更加具体、细腻。
请找出环境描写句子并分析其作用：
有区别于这位同学的不同的其他的环境类的描写吗？
文段二：
原文段（谭同学）
阅读要求
点评解说
刚才一位同学叫我去办公室，说是因为周末作业没写。我忐忑不安的下楼，心想：我怎么这么倒霉啊！就这么一次忘了写作业，就赶上老师检查作业。太不巧了。老师肯定很生气。说不定还会把爸妈也叫过来。如果真是这样，我就完蛋了！前几天妈妈还叫我好好学习，不然就要重重的罚我呢！而且，可能会因为这样不给我零花钱了！我该怎么办啊！我真不该不写作业的。我回过神来，看见几朵花儿垂头丧气的，仿佛快要死了，但还有几朵花正抬头对着太阳笑呢！我想：是呀，只有对世界充满希望，只要知错能改，重新努力不就没事了吗？话说回来，这也怨不得别人，都怪我自己。为什么我不能每次都完成作业呢？这样，不管那一次老师要检查作业，我都不怕了。而且，写作业本来就是我应该做的事情，学习成绩提高了，爸妈还会很开心，说不定一高兴还会答应我周末出去玩呢。-----
优点：
用了 方法，
写出了 心理特点；从中可见“我”是个怎样的孩子？
通篇或整段整段地用内心独白来写好不好呢？为什么？
文段三：
原文（陈同学）
阅读要求
点评解说
我走在去办公室的路上，天空仿佛抹了一层灰似的，阴沉沉的，太阳仿佛也失去了往日的神采，树枝弯弯曲曲的，小草也低下了高傲的头。我心里像十五吊桶打水——七上八下。心想：“老师会怎样批评我呢？会罚我吗？老师会给我改错的机会吗？算了，我还是撒个谎吧。”我下定了决心。离办公室越来越近了，我的决心也开始动摇了：“我怎么能撒谎来弥补过错呢？做人应该诚实，不能撒谎。如果这次用撒谎来弥补过错，下一次我还会这么做的。我要正视自己的缺点并改正它，而不是靠撒谎来弥补他。“报告！”我推开了办公室的门。”
修改要求：找出刻画心理活动的句子，看看用了哪几种方法来写？你觉得写得好不好？
好的地方：
不好的地方：
原文段（林同学）
阅读要求
点评解说
在去办公室的路上，周围的环境都变成了黑色，走到一棵黑黑的大树下，那棵大树仿佛在对我说：“你完了，你会被罚死的。”我更加害怕了，又快步走到了一些盆栽的旁边，当然那些盆栽颜色也是黑黑的，只不过不是太黑，仿佛在帮我分担一些老师的责罚一样，我的心情就好了很多，最后，我看到了一扇“黑暗之门，那扇“黑暗之门”的黑色程度比周围的所有东西都还要黑，仿佛在告诉我“里面很黑暗，不要走过去。”
优点：
缺点：
你能分享你阅读该文段的感受吗？
若用内心独白或神态（动作、语言）描写，你会怎样写？
2.评改要求：先修改，然后小组内交流感受，分享体验，思维共生，然后派代表全班发言分享。
总结：每个人都有两个世界，一个外在的，一个内在的，写作时不仅要关注外在的动作，神态，更要关注内心的活动，经常看看自己的内心，用方法把内心世界写具体，让读者能够读懂你的想法，跟着你一起哭，一起笑，这样更容易引起读者的共鸣，获得读者的掌声。
布置作业：
把这次片段作文中的心理活动过程的起因、经过、结果写清楚，即交代清楚引起这次心理活动变化的事件，综合运用刚刚学到的几种描写心理活动的方法，用“那一次，我真 ”，写一篇叙事完整，心理活动丰富的作文。要求：字数不少于600字，心理活动过程描写要具体、真切。
毕业班作文讲评课教学设计
一、导入
同学们，有幸成为你们的老师，是我们之间的缘分，也是我一生的荣幸，三百多个日夜悄然走远，但我们间的师生情日渐浓厚，可以计算出我们相处的时间，却计算不出我们师生间的情意。千里搭长棚，天下没有不散的宴席，人生有聚有散。分别在即，纵有千言万语也难诉尽心底的悲与喜，临行时，老师没有珍贵的礼物馈赠，送你们几句诚挚的话语，伴你们一路风雨兼程：（出示）
“假如生活是一条河流，愿你们是执着向前的小舟；假如生活是一叶小舟，愿你们是风雨无阻的水手。
同学们，今后不可妄自菲薄，自甘平庸，要学会欣赏自己，人生不如意事常八九。生活不可能一帆风顺，挫折和坎坷常常不期而至，不要抱怨生活，要坚强起来，风雨过后的彩虹更加美丽，鲜艳的花朵常常在辛勤的劳动中自由绽放，热烈的掌声常在艰苦努力后频频响起。
愿你们是一棵树：春天，吐一山淡淡的香味；夏天，洒一抹凉荫；秋天，举一树甜甜的青果；冬天，做一个养精蓄锐的好梦。愿云彩、艳阳一直陪伴你们走到海角天涯，鲜花、绿草相随你铺展远大的前程。
同学们，坚韧地飞吧，不要为风雨所折服；诚挚地飞吧，不要为香甜的蜜汗所陶醉。朝着明确的目标，飞向美好的人生。以你们的自信，以你们的开朗，以你们的.毅力，还有我的祝福，你们一定能飞到理想的彼岸！”
二、新授。
（一）谈感受：
此时此刻，看了老师的临别赠言，想说点什么吗？
（生答）
（师导）真的，老师真是希望在将来你们像船一样鼓起起航的帆，剪开自己的波澜，将彩色的人生拥抱，其实老师更想听的是同学们对老师的赠言，打开习作积累本，按照真情流露、语言真挚的习作要求，已经写好回忆小学生活的习作，有给老师留下诚挚祝福建议的吗？
（二）读一读
（师导）感谢你的智慧、才能和夸奖，很美，老师听着，真觉得你直率，因为你实话实说，好！
还有吗？
（三）再读一读
（师导）老师已不再年轻，你们才是花季的蓓蕾，展翅的雄鹰，明天是你们的世界，写得不错。拿来，我们共同评一评，你愿意抛砖引玉吗？不对，应该是抛玉引玉啊！
（四）师生共评
（师导）看来作文中的真情很重要（板书：真情）表达了友谊的桥、尊重的桅、信任的帆和坚定的心，英雄所见略同！
（师导）描写是情感抒发的源泉，在生活画卷上偶尔抹上一抹灰色，作文中白璧微瑕，重要的是在灰色中提取绿色的希望。这一处需要修改一下，你认为呢？
（师导）他的作文扣题做得好，叙述清楚。层次清（板书）
不要写错字，做到无错字（板书）
第一节:情景作文(满分20分)
某英文报“健康生活”栏目正在讨论有关健康食品、体育锻炼与少年儿童肥胖的问题。下面六幅图画是李明一年中的变化，请根据李明的情况写一篇短文。
注意：1．词数不少于60。 2．短文的开头已给出。
提示词语：junk food好吃但不利于健康的食品 snacks各种零食
A healthy diet and regular exercise may help to prevent obesity(肥胖) among children. Take Li Ming for example.
Li Ming used to be a healthy boy, but
第二节:开放作文(满分15分)
根据下面英文提示写一篇短文，词数不少于50。
Traffic jams are a very serious problem in Beijing. The streets are full of cars,buses, and bikes almost every day. To make matters worse, some people do not follow the traffic rules.
Suppose you are discussing this problem in your English class. Please make two or three suggestions on how to improve the traffic in Beijing.
2005北京春季考试试题（作文评析）
情景作文（读黑体字，想想如何写更恰当）
1.A healthy diet and regular exercise may help to prevent obesity among children. Take Li Ming for example.
Li Ming used to be a healthy boy, but he has become a fat boy sine last year, or in 2003.Li Ming ate a lot of junk food on July, 2003. The next month, he went on to eat all kinds of snacks and he even watched TV while ate those snacks. On December, Li Ming became too fat to go the steps easily. In 2004, Li Ming changed his life habits. He ate normal food every day. Besides these, he took part in many sports, such as football, swimming, running and skating. To be surprised, now Li Ming succeeds in preventing obesity and he becomes a healthy boy again. 13
…2..but he didn’t care about his diet. In the year 2003, he eat luck food and snacks from July to December . So he became obesity . When he found the fact that he was so fat , he began to limit himself . He had a healthy diet and did regular exercise in the next year . After a while , he turn back the healthy and thin body before .It tells us that a healthy diet and regular exercise may help to prevent obesity among children . (12)
（79 words）字数少，时态应该一致。
3.Li Ming used to be a healthy boy , but big changes had taken place in 2003. During the year , Li Ming was addicted in junk food , which tastes good but does harm to body . In the summer holiday, he not only ate a lot of junk food , but also didn’t take exercise . As a result, he soon became fat over the three months . In 2004, however, Li Ming realized that the fat body and had habits had brought a lot of trouble to him , so he decided to change it . He started to eat regularly and do exercise. For example , playing football afterschool , running in the morning , swimming in the summer and skating in the winter .With his effort , he had a good health again .
This story told us that : If you want to have a strong body , a good habit of eating and doing exercise is the first demand. (16.)
4. He became very fat in 2003. Let’s have a look at his daily life. From June to December he often eat a lot of junk food which taste good but is very bad for health. What’s more, he usually watched TV on sofa with eating snacks and went to sleep after watching TV. As the bad habit developing, he was more and more fat. However, what was the most surprised that he lost a lot and very healthy in 2004.The sercert of it is close to his regular diet and a plenty of exercise, such as, playing football, swimming, running, skating and so on. So he is happy to go to school how. (15)
5.Li Ming used to be a healthy boy, but great changes have taken place in 2003 and 2004. The meal Li Ming ate every day was full of a lot of and different junk food which was bad for health. What’s more, he watched TV lying on the sofa and eating snacks. As a result, his weight went up day after day, he even had difficulties in climbing the stairs. This made Li Ming so sad that he decided to get a new beginning in 2004. Instead of junk food and snacks, Li Ming ate the healthy diet and took more exercises such as football, swimming, skating and running. At fast, he became as healthy as before, healthy diet and regular exercise helped him a lot. (17)
6.Li Ming used to be a healthy boy , but when he became enjoying eat junk food and snacks . Things became more and more terrible . He ate fast food and snacks every day and watched TV lying on the sofa. For about two months, he was so fat that he could hardly clamb the steps . Because of this, he decided to lose weight, he didn’t eat fast food any more and liked eating vegetables and fruits. He took exercises every day , such as playing football .swimming .running .skating and so on .（标点符号） Finally , he was succeed , he became healthy and strong .16
开放作文（读黑体字，想想如何写更恰当）
1.The discussing is depends on the question. In my opinion, people in Beijing should often take buses instead private cars. Then, I suggest that people there should follow the traffic rules in order to keep the traffic well. What’s more, we should think something more about others. In all, traffic relates to everyone and we should keep the traffic well. 10
2.I have three suggestions on how to improve the traffic in Beijing. First, I think our country should build more wild roads because there are so a few roads that the strects are full of cars, buses and bikes. Second, our country should limit the numbers of the cars and buses and they are pollution. The last one, our country can increase the number of the traffic policeman to make people follow the traffic rules. I think the three suggestions are the first we can do. 13
3.Our class hare a heated discussion about how to improve the traffic in Beijing. We had made two suggestion; One, the government should build more road for cars and bikes. If can make the matter better than before. Two, making people to follow the traffic rules, it must be raised in education. There are many means I believe the traffic jams should be solved. 11
4.First, we can enwide the old streets and build more new roads. And then, we can have the people who do not follow the traffic rules see the film in which many people lost their life because of breaking traffic rules. Finally, we should learn more about the traffic rules to make Beijing’s traffic better. (10)
5.First of all, everyone should abbey the traffic rules. If we follow the rules, less accidents will happen and more time will be saved on the road. Then, the government should plan to build more streets and widen the roads. There are more people than before, so the facdities should also be improved. As students, we should do first and set a modle to others. 11
6.I think we can decrease the number of the cars owned personality .. Then , make the road wider than before . (4) (字数不够，语言贫乏，衔接性差)
7.Traffic jams are a very serious problems in Beijing . One reason is that some people don’t follow the traffic rules . It is terrible . We can let them have a lesson about the harm of the traffic jams. Maybe they will realized the disadvantages of not following the rules.
The streets are full of cars , buses and bikes every day . Maybe the government can persuade citizens to walk to schools or jobs.
(5) 没有审清题目，重点不是原因而是解决方法。（答非所问）
8.I think our students should join the line to improve the traffic in Beijing. First, we should help policeman to built some traffic jams. Second, when we see some old people is walking across a road, we should help them to pass it. If we have enough ablitives, we should help policeman to wave the trafficts. 3分(跑题作文)
9.First of all, the government must improve the people’s knowledge of traffic rules by teaching and having an examination. This is the foundation. Second , The most important thing is that the people should obey the traffic rules and set up more traffic lights and bridge on the road. We should pay attention to safety. Finally we hope that the company should change the time of going to work and going home to avoid the rush hours. 12
10.I think that the government should make people know the knowledge of traffic and tell them to go to work by bus or by bike as possible. And They should build more roads for the cars . The most important thing is : if all the people follow the traffic rules , it will not have traffic jams. 12
注意下列单词的拼写，拿起笔来重新写
1．作为什么结果 2、限制 3、增加体重 4、习惯 5现代的6、方便的 7、解决 8、躺，（过去时，过去分词）9、放 10、重要的11、代替 12进行体育锻炼 13、吃（过去式，过去分词）14、越来越胖 15 八月 16、食物 17、私人的
17游泳 18.意识到 19幸运的 20 决定去做什么
21、健康的名词和形容词 traffic jams junk ---luck
★ 心声的教学设计
★ 试卷讲评课教案
